Arena: Place where humans can take the fun out of forward motion.
Bit: Means by which a rider's every motion is transmitted to the extremely sensitive tissues of the mouth.
Bucking: Counterirritant.
Crossties: Gymnastic apparatus.
Dressage: Process by which some riders can eventually be taught to respect the bit.
Fence: Barrier that protects good grazing.
Grain: Sole virtue of domestication.
Hitching rail: Means by which to test one's strength.
Horse trailer: Mobile cave bear den.
Jump: An opportunity for self-expression.
Latch: Type of puzzle.
Longeing: Procedure for keeping a prospective rider at bay.
Owner: Human assigned responsibility for one's feeding.
Rider: Owner overstepping its bounds.
Farrier: Disposable surrogate owner useful for acting out aggression without compromising food supply.
Trainer: Owner with mob connections.
Veterinarian: Flightless albino vulture.
for more humor like this check out Equerry.com
Showing posts with label Horse Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Horse Humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Some truths in the horse world
WHAT DO YOU DO ...
To induce labor in a mare?
Take a nap.
To cure equine constipation?
Load them in a clean trailer.
To cure equine insomnia?
Show them in a halter class.
To get a horse to wash their own feet?
Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
To get a mare to come in heat?
Take her to a show.
To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted?
Sell her before she foals.
To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch?
Get him out late at night or anytime no one is around to see him.
To induce a cold snap in the weather?
Clip a horse.
To make it rain?
Mow a field of hay.
To make a small fortune in the horse business?
Start with a large one.
To induce labor in a mare?
Take a nap.
To cure equine constipation?
Load them in a clean trailer.
To cure equine insomnia?
Show them in a halter class.
To get a horse to wash their own feet?
Clean the water trough and fill it with fresh water.
To get a mare to come in heat?
Take her to a show.
To make sure that a mare has that beautiful, perfectly marked foal you always wanted?
Sell her before she foals.
To get a show horse to set up perfect and really stretch?
Get him out late at night or anytime no one is around to see him.
To induce a cold snap in the weather?
Clip a horse.
To make it rain?
Mow a field of hay.
To make a small fortune in the horse business?
Start with a large one.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The Other Man
Like the good friend I am, I've been babysitting Durango for the past couple days while he stays at LEC. I feed him, take him for walks, groom him, clean his stall and assure him that his mother (Jamee)will be coming back for him on Monday.
The one bad move I may have made over the course of the past couple days was to put Durango in the stall next to Dobby. Dobby, is well, a bit spoiled and I maybe dote on him just a little bit. The notion of me talking to, grooming, walking feeding and assuring another horse is horrifying to him. I'm his lady, he doesn't want to share.
So Yesterday morning I went out to feed, and was greeted with nickers in stereo. When I was in Durango's stall, Dobby glared at me, when I went to Dobby's stall Durango gave me the evil eye. I can't say hello to one, and not the other. If one guy gets an apple, then the other must too...and on and on we go until finally I proclaim that both of them are acting like total babies, and walk off.
Multiplying my issues is the fact that Dobby and Durango also LOVE each other. I'm reasnably certain Dobby and Durango bonded over a mutual love of automatic waterers. I walked by their stalls, and they are both eating their hay under the waterer, or taking a nap, side-by-side. It was really cute until I took Durango out for a walk, and ended up in the middle of call and answer between Dob and Durango. Pathetic. Vice versa when I took Dobby out for Sunday Spa day.
It's funny how quickly horses form friendships, but then again Jamee and I hit it off right away when we met, so there should be no reason that our horses (who are reflections of our own personalities) wouldn't also get along. Durango leaves LEC tonight after his demonstration ride for Purnia Mills. Maybe when Durango hops onto the trailer he'll miss his dopey warmblood buddy just a little bit. I know Dobby will miss Durango. It's always nice to have your friends in town and sad to see them go.
The one bad move I may have made over the course of the past couple days was to put Durango in the stall next to Dobby. Dobby, is well, a bit spoiled and I maybe dote on him just a little bit. The notion of me talking to, grooming, walking feeding and assuring another horse is horrifying to him. I'm his lady, he doesn't want to share.
So Yesterday morning I went out to feed, and was greeted with nickers in stereo. When I was in Durango's stall, Dobby glared at me, when I went to Dobby's stall Durango gave me the evil eye. I can't say hello to one, and not the other. If one guy gets an apple, then the other must too...and on and on we go until finally I proclaim that both of them are acting like total babies, and walk off.
Multiplying my issues is the fact that Dobby and Durango also LOVE each other. I'm reasnably certain Dobby and Durango bonded over a mutual love of automatic waterers. I walked by their stalls, and they are both eating their hay under the waterer, or taking a nap, side-by-side. It was really cute until I took Durango out for a walk, and ended up in the middle of call and answer between Dob and Durango. Pathetic. Vice versa when I took Dobby out for Sunday Spa day.
It's funny how quickly horses form friendships, but then again Jamee and I hit it off right away when we met, so there should be no reason that our horses (who are reflections of our own personalities) wouldn't also get along. Durango leaves LEC tonight after his demonstration ride for Purnia Mills. Maybe when Durango hops onto the trailer he'll miss his dopey warmblood buddy just a little bit. I know Dobby will miss Durango. It's always nice to have your friends in town and sad to see them go.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Bold Bunnies
If rabbits can do it, certainly our mighty cross-trained, highly-skilled, brilliant equines can make it over fences as well!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Monday, April 16, 2007
Poor Vinnie!
Who doesn't need a little bit of a laugh on Monday? Here's a fish out of water dressage video for all of you to enjoy. My own fish out of water, dressage story is coming!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
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